I’m realizing that the writing that I’m very fond of and enjoy reading the most is typically personal writing.

I like reading about how someone perceives the world, their mental models, their frameworks and why they think the way they think. I enjoy someone who is self-aware enough to realize that they don’t have all of the answers and that they are just as much a work in progress as anyone else is. I like reading things that make me feel connected to the author. Writing as a means of conversing almost.

After reviewing my last few journal entries as well as the published pieces I have on my website, I’m realizing that I don’t like my own writing because I fail to do this. I adopt unfamiliar voices and tones to communicate ideas that I’m unsure of. I’m unconfident in my own beliefs and models, and hence I overcompensate by writing in language that is verbose and superfluous (like this sentence for example).

I would like to use today’s entry to admit that I do not like my own writing. I have many questions and lack many answers. I have difficulty tying concepts and ideas together in ways that can be communicated easily and effectively. As a first step to writing more personally, I would like to admit that I don’t know how to write. I’m still trying to figure out how to really think sometimes. I’m hoping that this admittance will help in removing that barrier I have of pretending to write as if I know things — because honestly, I don’t.